Bedtime Story: Princess Mi-Ah is afraid to sleep alone

Once upon a time there was a beatiful princess.  Her name was Princess Mi-Ah.  Princess Mi-Ah lived on a castle on top of a hill.  The hill was covered with flowers.  And Princess Mi-Ah loved flowers…

Each night, mother stayed with Princess Mi-Ah until she stayed asleep.  And every night when Princess Mi-Ah would wake up, she would get mother until she fell asleep again. 

After a while, mother told Princess Mi-Ah.  “Mi-Ah, you’re a big princess now.  It’s time to sleep alone.”

Princess Mi-Ah didn’t like hearing that at all.  She cried and she cried until her mother couldn’t take it anymore.

“I’m sorry, but I just cannot stay with you.  I really cannot!” said mother.

“But you must!  I’m afraid!  The shadows will get me!  The dragon will eat me up!” cried out Princess Mi-Ah.

“I see…” said mother.   Mother was silent for a minute as Princess Mi-Ah continued to sniffle and wipe the tears that were on her cheeks. 

Then she said, “Then you will not sleep alone, if that is what you want.”

“Oh, thank you, thank you!”  Princess Mi-Ah went back under her blanket.

“But it will not be me.  Wait here”.  Mother left her room.

Mi-Ah and the black pigs (an anectode)

“Come on!  Let’s look at the pigs!” Mi-Ah ran over to the pen where these 2 ugly, black, smelly, hairy pigs were penned.  They were being cared for by this organic restaurant.  You can smell BBQ smells emitted from the place all the time.  It actually smells pretty darn good!

“Oh, I don’t see them!  Where are they?  Sleeping?”  She’s bummed.  No pigs in sight.  “Varken-chyuh!  Varken-chuyh!” (That’s a phonetic translation of little piggie in Dutch.)

“Hey, Mi-Ah, I think I know where they are.  Maybe they were barbequed!  YUMMMMY!” I laugh wickedly.

“But that would be really OUCH for the pigs!”

“Who cares!  They taste good barbequed!”

Yes, I know.  I have a sick sense of humour.  But I don’t feel an ounce of guilt about it.  Especially after one of those rotten creatures splattered pig shit all over us as we stood near their gate one day.  The horrible thing shook itself like a dog and it sprayed us from head to do with the foul-smelling stuff.  Poor Mi-Ah’s pink coat had to go in the wash as soon as we were home.

The funny little lady – a little anecdote

I-An was asleep so I decided to have a little quality time with Mi-Ah.  JW was home, joyfully executing the enemy with his virtual rifles on X-Box 360, so he was left in charge of the baby phone that was connected to its mate in I-An’s room.

Mi-Ah and I were in a posh kitchen store.  Her birthday was coming up and I was looking for some mini-cupcake liners.  You know how those big cupcakes, while small for us adults, are practically a full meal for kids.  They only had some Halloween-themed ones with little ghosts and pumpkins so we settled on getting some really cute carousal horse-shaped candles to put on her cake instead. 

I was browsing around a little more and let her wander off a bit, after she promised not to touch anything.  She ran up to me a few minutes later, and said in the usual toddler’s not so subtly-pitched voice, “Hey, umma!  Come look at the funny little lady!”  I ignored her for a second, but she was persistent.  “Come look!  She’s really funny looking!”

I thought, this sounds really bizarre.  A funny little lady?  So I decided to humour her.  There were these stacked shelves in the small shop used as dividers, and you could see through them.  So we were standing on one side of one of these shelves, and she pointed through the various porcelein baking containers at someone on the other side.  Sure enough, there was a midget woman standing there chatting with her friend, while trying to pick out what kind of kitchen utensils to purchase. 

I was horrified, but didn’t raise my voice.  I kneeled in front of Mi-Ah and said, “Mi-Ah she’s not funny.  She’s just different.  And it’s not nice to stare or talk it about her like that.  Okay?”

“But, umma, she didn’t care that I was looking!  I WANT to look!  She’s funny!  And so little!”

I quickly paid for the birthday candles so we could leave.  I had to talk with her some more about it.  “You know, the lady pretended not to hear you, but I bet when she goes home tonight she’ll cry because you made her feel sad about herself.  You hurt her feelings.”  Alright, maybe I was laying on a bit thick, but this is Mi-Ah we’re talking about here.

“Okay, umma.  Next time I’ll just look and not say anything.”

“No, Mi-Ah that’s also not nice.”

“Okay, then I’ll not say anything and then kind of look out of the corner of my eye so she doesn’t notice.”

I sighed.  The constant negotiation with Mi-Ah was always so tiring.  “Okay, that’s better then.”  I gave up.  KIDS!