Mi-Ah at the concert

So I take Mi-Ah to a children’s concert. It was called TrommelVuur (translated roughly to DrumFire).  Okay, any normal person would’ve thought – hey, there’s probably going to be lots of drumming in this concert.  But, well, I’m a tired/stressed out mom who’s looking for work so okay, I didn’t say this to her in advance.  I just said it was a concert with musical instruments.

We arrive, and the stage is set with these 3 large doors.  The concert begins with hands opening the doors and throw out all kinds of things that make all kinds of noise.  Yes, it was all about noise.  Metal spheres.  Plastic buckets.  Wood boxes.  Sticks.  Whips.  You name it.  They had it.  But it was all fun and original.

We’re about halfway into the concert and then Mi-Ah throws me this classic line I will never forgot…. “When are the ballerinas coming out?”

I nearly fell out of my chair.

Again…. TOO FUNNY!

The Little Devil-Man

Boerie (real name I-An) is in his terrible two’s, testing us at every opportunity.

Lately I’ve been calling him Devil-Man.  There’s gotta be a story here….  Ideas?

Princess Mi-Ah & Prince Boerie story – The Giant Banana

Lately been telling combo stories with both of our little guys involved.

Tonight’s story was crazy….

The 2 main characters are walking in forest and are looking for the oldest trees.  They come across one that is so wide it is as wide as a small house.  Then they hear a voice.  Up above there is a giant, TALKING banana.  They jump up trying to grab him, but the banana is just too high for them.

The banana laughs and ridicules them:  “Heh heh heh, you can’t eat me!”

They finally get to the banana after stacking up some stones and pieces of wood.  They knock the banana off the tree yelling:  “We’re gonna eat you!”  The banana falls and rolls and rolls down a hill.

Then it get picks up by a horse.  The horse runs away to the castle and to the stable (it belongs to the castle.)

There they take the giant banana to the kitchen where Cook tries to hack it apart with a giant cleaver:  “Stand back, children!  Let’s hack this banana in three so we can share it for our snack!”  The cleaver bounces right off the banana!

Cook takes the banana outside and then gets an ax.  It bounces off as well!

It’s too late so they wait for the next day.  They notice that it has become brown and spotted.  It’s ripe!  Then they peel it open and eat it up. 

And the whole time the banana is cackling it’s “Heh heh heh!” as it gets away each time.  Both Mi-Ah and Boerie loved it and cackled along.  Yes, they both enjoy eating bananas…. Especially Boerie.

Boerie’s performance

“I’m going to sing the Monday song!” He sang the song in the offkey way most toddlers do and messed up all the words.

This time he decided to add a little dance where he twirled around, off beat, of course.

When he was done, which was after singing it about 1.5 times, he ended the performance with a bow where he folded himself in half and put his hands on the ground.

He does this for one of the teacher’s helpers every day at Mi-Ah’s school. It’s a daily request and he’s building a fanbase.

TOO FUNNY!

Little Boerie is angry

Mi-Ah’s little brother, I-An (we call him Boerie), is 2 1/2 now.   And he’s really coming into his own…

Me:  Boerie, it’s time to eat now.  I’m going to have to turn off the TV.

Boerie:  No!  TV on!

Me:  Okay, TV is going off now.  Let’s go.  (I try to drag him from the sofa).

Boerie:  No!  NOT FUNNY!

Yes, his favorite phrase when he’s PO-ed at me is, “Not funny.” At first I laughed, thinking it was cute.  After hearing it about a hundred times now, it’s not too funny anymore.

Princess Mi-Ah the Neat & Tidy

I hate going to after-school care!

Why?

Because they leave all of the Lego blocks on the floor.  I step on them and cut my feet.

Ouch!  That must hurt!

After you play with Lego blocks you’re supposed to put them away so no one steps on them.  Why don’t they do that?

Well, not everyone learns to be as organised and tidy as you.  That’s kind of too bad, isn’t it?

Yes.  So that’s why I don’t want to go there anymore!

 

(Mi-Ah goes to a Montessori elementary school.  If you know something about Montessori, this should ring a bell with you.  Really cracked me up.)

Princess Mi-Ah and her animal friends

Princess Mi-Ah, why are you crying?

Because….  I’m afraid.

Of what?

Of ghosts.

Oh….

But if I have all of my animals with me…. My pink pony, my yellow dog, my green turtle…. all in my bed, then I’m not alone am I?

No, you’re not.  You’ve got a lot of friends and family their with with you.

Okay, then I’m not alone.  I’m not so scared then. 

Good!  A kiss good night?

Yes.  Good night!

Bedtime Story: Princess Mi-Ah is afraid to sleep alone

Once upon a time there was a beatiful princess.  Her name was Princess Mi-Ah.  Princess Mi-Ah lived on a castle on top of a hill.  The hill was covered with flowers.  And Princess Mi-Ah loved flowers…

Each night, mother stayed with Princess Mi-Ah until she stayed asleep.  And every night when Princess Mi-Ah would wake up, she would get mother until she fell asleep again. 

After a while, mother told Princess Mi-Ah.  “Mi-Ah, you’re a big princess now.  It’s time to sleep alone.”

Princess Mi-Ah didn’t like hearing that at all.  She cried and she cried until her mother couldn’t take it anymore.

“I’m sorry, but I just cannot stay with you.  I really cannot!” said mother.

“But you must!  I’m afraid!  The shadows will get me!  The dragon will eat me up!” cried out Princess Mi-Ah.

“I see…” said mother.   Mother was silent for a minute as Princess Mi-Ah continued to sniffle and wipe the tears that were on her cheeks. 

Then she said, “Then you will not sleep alone, if that is what you want.”

“Oh, thank you, thank you!”  Princess Mi-Ah went back under her blanket.

“But it will not be me.  Wait here”.  Mother left her room.

Mi-Ah and the black pigs (an anectode)

“Come on!  Let’s look at the pigs!” Mi-Ah ran over to the pen where these 2 ugly, black, smelly, hairy pigs were penned.  They were being cared for by this organic restaurant.  You can smell BBQ smells emitted from the place all the time.  It actually smells pretty darn good!

“Oh, I don’t see them!  Where are they?  Sleeping?”  She’s bummed.  No pigs in sight.  “Varken-chyuh!  Varken-chuyh!” (That’s a phonetic translation of little piggie in Dutch.)

“Hey, Mi-Ah, I think I know where they are.  Maybe they were barbequed!  YUMMMMY!” I laugh wickedly.

“But that would be really OUCH for the pigs!”

“Who cares!  They taste good barbequed!”

Yes, I know.  I have a sick sense of humour.  But I don’t feel an ounce of guilt about it.  Especially after one of those rotten creatures splattered pig shit all over us as we stood near their gate one day.  The horrible thing shook itself like a dog and it sprayed us from head to do with the foul-smelling stuff.  Poor Mi-Ah’s pink coat had to go in the wash as soon as we were home.

The funny little lady – a little anecdote

I-An was asleep so I decided to have a little quality time with Mi-Ah.  JW was home, joyfully executing the enemy with his virtual rifles on X-Box 360, so he was left in charge of the baby phone that was connected to its mate in I-An’s room.

Mi-Ah and I were in a posh kitchen store.  Her birthday was coming up and I was looking for some mini-cupcake liners.  You know how those big cupcakes, while small for us adults, are practically a full meal for kids.  They only had some Halloween-themed ones with little ghosts and pumpkins so we settled on getting some really cute carousal horse-shaped candles to put on her cake instead. 

I was browsing around a little more and let her wander off a bit, after she promised not to touch anything.  She ran up to me a few minutes later, and said in the usual toddler’s not so subtly-pitched voice, “Hey, umma!  Come look at the funny little lady!”  I ignored her for a second, but she was persistent.  “Come look!  She’s really funny looking!”

I thought, this sounds really bizarre.  A funny little lady?  So I decided to humour her.  There were these stacked shelves in the small shop used as dividers, and you could see through them.  So we were standing on one side of one of these shelves, and she pointed through the various porcelein baking containers at someone on the other side.  Sure enough, there was a midget woman standing there chatting with her friend, while trying to pick out what kind of kitchen utensils to purchase. 

I was horrified, but didn’t raise my voice.  I kneeled in front of Mi-Ah and said, “Mi-Ah she’s not funny.  She’s just different.  And it’s not nice to stare or talk it about her like that.  Okay?”

“But, umma, she didn’t care that I was looking!  I WANT to look!  She’s funny!  And so little!”

I quickly paid for the birthday candles so we could leave.  I had to talk with her some more about it.  “You know, the lady pretended not to hear you, but I bet when she goes home tonight she’ll cry because you made her feel sad about herself.  You hurt her feelings.”  Alright, maybe I was laying on a bit thick, but this is Mi-Ah we’re talking about here.

“Okay, umma.  Next time I’ll just look and not say anything.”

“No, Mi-Ah that’s also not nice.”

“Okay, then I’ll not say anything and then kind of look out of the corner of my eye so she doesn’t notice.”

I sighed.  The constant negotiation with Mi-Ah was always so tiring.  “Okay, that’s better then.”  I gave up.  KIDS!