Peeing

So it’s a gorgeous sunny Saturday afternoon at the school playground.  As usual Mi-Ah has to pee.  (What is it with little kids and the need to constantly pee?  Are they like dogs who  like to leave their mark everywhere?)

Mi-Ah says she knows a good place to go but that I’d have to hold her underwear.  Of course I-An runs up (he’s started wearing underwear only as of this week) and he says he has to go too.  I’m standing there holding Mi-Ah’s undie while she shoots a jet stream of pee between the bushes next to the school.  I try not to notice how it’s running down her leg too (she hasn’t quite gotten the deep squat thing down that us poor females have to do).

She’s done and puts her on her underwear (luckily she’s wearing a dress.)  While I’m helping her, it turns out I-An has ran up to the exact spot where she peed and already has his pants and underwear down, standing in the middle of the puddle.  I yell at him to get the heck out of there and luckily he does so.

I-An’s sooo excited now that he can go to the toilet with us now in all kinds of strange places.  This morning it was at the shopping mall.  A lady banged on the door while we were in there.  With 3 of us it takes even longer.  The rudeness of grownups without small children!  They just don’t understand…

Princess Mi-Ah and the Giant Baby

Sorry, it’s been a while.  Working on my YA SF novel, work and 2 kids.  Princess Mi-Ah stories are still going strong and as of late I’ve started doing interactive versions.  Little brother I-An (now 3) is also into them so I make sure to include Prince Boerie (his knickname) in them as well.  Here’s a clip from a recent story we played out together with the stuffed animals and dolls.  Warning – this story is kind of wierd but it’s just one of those spontaneous things.

Ding dong.

“Who’s that?” asked Princess Snow White.

“I don’t know,” said Princess Mi-Ah.  “I didn’t invite anyone for our tea party.”

“Well, let’s go to the door and see, shall we?”

The two princesses walked towards the castle’s front door, their long beautiful silk gowns rustling against the floor.  Princess Snow White opened the door and they were shocked to see a GIANT BABY!

“Aaagh!” screamed Princess Snow White who then started to whimper and cry, hiding behind Princess Mi-Ah’s skirt.

Mi-Ah at the concert

So I take Mi-Ah to a children’s concert. It was called TrommelVuur (translated roughly to DrumFire).  Okay, any normal person would’ve thought – hey, there’s probably going to be lots of drumming in this concert.  But, well, I’m a tired/stressed out mom who’s looking for work so okay, I didn’t say this to her in advance.  I just said it was a concert with musical instruments.

We arrive, and the stage is set with these 3 large doors.  The concert begins with hands opening the doors and throw out all kinds of things that make all kinds of noise.  Yes, it was all about noise.  Metal spheres.  Plastic buckets.  Wood boxes.  Sticks.  Whips.  You name it.  They had it.  But it was all fun and original.

We’re about halfway into the concert and then Mi-Ah throws me this classic line I will never forgot…. “When are the ballerinas coming out?”

I nearly fell out of my chair.

Again…. TOO FUNNY!

The Little Devil-Man

Boerie (real name I-An) is in his terrible two’s, testing us at every opportunity.

Lately I’ve been calling him Devil-Man.  There’s gotta be a story here….  Ideas?

Princess Mi-Ah & Prince Boerie story – The Giant Banana

Lately been telling combo stories with both of our little guys involved.

Tonight’s story was crazy….

The 2 main characters are walking in forest and are looking for the oldest trees.  They come across one that is so wide it is as wide as a small house.  Then they hear a voice.  Up above there is a giant, TALKING banana.  They jump up trying to grab him, but the banana is just too high for them.

The banana laughs and ridicules them:  “Heh heh heh, you can’t eat me!”

They finally get to the banana after stacking up some stones and pieces of wood.  They knock the banana off the tree yelling:  “We’re gonna eat you!”  The banana falls and rolls and rolls down a hill.

Then it get picks up by a horse.  The horse runs away to the castle and to the stable (it belongs to the castle.)

There they take the giant banana to the kitchen where Cook tries to hack it apart with a giant cleaver:  “Stand back, children!  Let’s hack this banana in three so we can share it for our snack!”  The cleaver bounces right off the banana!

Cook takes the banana outside and then gets an ax.  It bounces off as well!

It’s too late so they wait for the next day.  They notice that it has become brown and spotted.  It’s ripe!  Then they peel it open and eat it up. 

And the whole time the banana is cackling it’s “Heh heh heh!” as it gets away each time.  Both Mi-Ah and Boerie loved it and cackled along.  Yes, they both enjoy eating bananas…. Especially Boerie.

Boerie’s performance

“I’m going to sing the Monday song!” He sang the song in the offkey way most toddlers do and messed up all the words.

This time he decided to add a little dance where he twirled around, off beat, of course.

When he was done, which was after singing it about 1.5 times, he ended the performance with a bow where he folded himself in half and put his hands on the ground.

He does this for one of the teacher’s helpers every day at Mi-Ah’s school. It’s a daily request and he’s building a fanbase.

TOO FUNNY!

Little Boerie is angry

Mi-Ah’s little brother, I-An (we call him Boerie), is 2 1/2 now.   And he’s really coming into his own…

Me:  Boerie, it’s time to eat now.  I’m going to have to turn off the TV.

Boerie:  No!  TV on!

Me:  Okay, TV is going off now.  Let’s go.  (I try to drag him from the sofa).

Boerie:  No!  NOT FUNNY!

Yes, his favorite phrase when he’s PO-ed at me is, “Not funny.” At first I laughed, thinking it was cute.  After hearing it about a hundred times now, it’s not too funny anymore.

Princess Mi-Ah the Neat & Tidy

I hate going to after-school care!

Why?

Because they leave all of the Lego blocks on the floor.  I step on them and cut my feet.

Ouch!  That must hurt!

After you play with Lego blocks you’re supposed to put them away so no one steps on them.  Why don’t they do that?

Well, not everyone learns to be as organised and tidy as you.  That’s kind of too bad, isn’t it?

Yes.  So that’s why I don’t want to go there anymore!

 

(Mi-Ah goes to a Montessori elementary school.  If you know something about Montessori, this should ring a bell with you.  Really cracked me up.)

Princess Mi-Ah and her animal friends

Princess Mi-Ah, why are you crying?

Because….  I’m afraid.

Of what?

Of ghosts.

Oh….

But if I have all of my animals with me…. My pink pony, my yellow dog, my green turtle…. all in my bed, then I’m not alone am I?

No, you’re not.  You’ve got a lot of friends and family their with with you.

Okay, then I’m not alone.  I’m not so scared then. 

Good!  A kiss good night?

Yes.  Good night!

Bedtime Story: Princess Mi-Ah is afraid to sleep alone

Once upon a time there was a beatiful princess.  Her name was Princess Mi-Ah.  Princess Mi-Ah lived on a castle on top of a hill.  The hill was covered with flowers.  And Princess Mi-Ah loved flowers…

Each night, mother stayed with Princess Mi-Ah until she stayed asleep.  And every night when Princess Mi-Ah would wake up, she would get mother until she fell asleep again. 

After a while, mother told Princess Mi-Ah.  “Mi-Ah, you’re a big princess now.  It’s time to sleep alone.”

Princess Mi-Ah didn’t like hearing that at all.  She cried and she cried until her mother couldn’t take it anymore.

“I’m sorry, but I just cannot stay with you.  I really cannot!” said mother.

“But you must!  I’m afraid!  The shadows will get me!  The dragon will eat me up!” cried out Princess Mi-Ah.

“I see…” said mother.   Mother was silent for a minute as Princess Mi-Ah continued to sniffle and wipe the tears that were on her cheeks. 

Then she said, “Then you will not sleep alone, if that is what you want.”

“Oh, thank you, thank you!”  Princess Mi-Ah went back under her blanket.

“But it will not be me.  Wait here”.  Mother left her room.